Heidi to host Five Day “SAVE HD-DVD” telethon!!!

This incredible news will soon be a reality August 5-10, 2008 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway as Heidi Montag has been contracted to be the host for a five day music and entertainment spectacular to raise money from the good people of America to help save the HD-DVD format of DVD consumer movie disc-playing electronic devices. Millions of people, including Heidi, have purchased these machines in GOOD FAITH and now the shady “powers that be” have deemed these machines “worthless” even though they are in perfect working order. It’s like state-sanctioned murder!!!! Some of the acts that have agreed to help by performing at this extravaganza are Jason Schwartzman’s rock ‘n’ roll music band Phantom Planet, comedian Don Rickles, popular magician act CRiSS ANgel MINDFREAK, cherished wild animal trainers Siegfried and Roy, noted boxing legend Gerry Cooney, Personal “Chef to the Stars” Bobby Flay, the architect Donald Trump, “Lost” screenwriter Damon Lindelhof and European thrush Grande Dauphine Lady Celine Dion. This program will run for five days straight on the Univision television network and will indeed be the first program in that station’s history to be broadcast entirely in English. Heidi is giving nearly a week of her life for this historic event and we should all help her out BY TRASHING any Blu-Ray machines our family or friends may own. It’s only right!!!!!

Warren Buffet finds Heidi “inspirational”

Warren Buffet is well-known as the world’s richest man, but more importantly he is the richest man in America. You would think a man his age, (he’s in his seventies) would be out of touch with popular culture but Warren is smarter than you think. His favorite star is Heidi Montag!!! He watches TV like anyone else and he has long held a soft spot in his heart for America’s favorite blond. It just makes good business sense!!! He even told attendees at the annual Berkshire Hathaway shareholders meeting that he found Heidi’s presence on national TV “inspirational.” That is great news and Heidi thinks he is a VERY sweet old man. A grandpa figure for her!!!! But when you look closer, Forbes magazine has calculated that Warren Buffet is so rich he could personally give every person in America, even the illegal aliens, $5,000 dollars and still have money left over. Doesn’t it make you wonder WHY HE DOESN’T DO THIS? There is no need to amass that kind of money. Are you a “good man” or some greedy swine??? I mean, there are people starving, and even the people who aren’t could sure use that money to help them pay off some bills. Why do you need a literal mountain of money to sit on???? Help the "little guy" out. Heidi does!!! If she inspires you so much, put words into action. Let no good DEED remain unturned!!!!

Heidi condemns Fritzl—possible adoption???

The latest dispatch from Heidi’s handlers is that she is so upset about this monster Josef Fritzl who kept his own family hostage in an underground tunnel system that she is weighing the legal ramifications of offering to adopt ALL the Fritzl family children. Heidi will welcome each child into her home personally, even the one who hops about like a monkey and can’t speak English. This is called UNCONDITIONAL love and Heidi has already picked out several outfits from her Heidiwood line of clothing for the kids to wear. They are going to love the Hollywood lifestyle and Heidi is doing this for THEM and not her own personal gain. Raising children costs money and Heidi is not afraid to spend it!! It will be a long road, but of course Heidi is going to have access to the best teachers and nannies that America can produce. And of course the best in America is the best in the world!!! What kind of IDIOT would think otherwise???? Even if these children had been raised in a NORMAL home by NORMAL people they still wouldn’t have had a chance to be a success or be famous because of the country the lived in. Austria is just not good enough when you compare it to the best in the business! Remember, it’s not bragging if you can back it up!!!!!