Heidi unwittingly dragged into Fax Spam Scam!!!

Those of us who are “white-collar” workers have all seen unsolicited faxes clogging up the company fax machine and wasting valuable time, ink and paper. These unwanted “office pests” usually come slithering out of the machine with promises of cut-rate Mexican Cruise vacations or “buy one get one free” Disney weddings, but recent weeks have seen a spate of highly dubious faxes hitting the inboxes of Fortune 500 companies promising free Heidiwood shopping sprees to unsuspecting fashionistas. Of course reaction to this offer has been immediate and enthusiastic! There is ONE small problem, however. Heidi herself has never authorized this, nor has the company who makes and sells her clothes. It is a LIE, a TRICK, and Heidi is practically in tears over this wholesale swindling of her fans. HMIB is proud to be one of several media outlets Heidi’s handlers have asked to try and turn this sick hoax around for the better. So I AM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW. Do not fall for this fax. Ball it up. Shred it. Burn it. (Outside, please!!) But do not call or email the number given on the fax. It is just putting money in the pockets of lazy bums who have done NOTHING and get everything in return. It’s not fair to Heidi!!!!! Why would she GIVE AWAY clothes??? They are not rags!!! There ought to be laws against this!

RuPaul’s Nod for Song of the Year 2008—“Higher”

Recording giant RuPaul issued a press release earlier this week to submit her vote for “Dance Song” of the year. Drum roll please because the winner is Heidi Montag’s feel-good hit of the year “Higher!!!!” RuPaul had a #1 song in 1993 with the dancetastic booty-shaker “Supermodel (You Better Work)” so this diva knows what she is talking about. The highest praise any artist can receive is that of her peers so this is great news for Heidi. We all know that “Higher” is a special song and we are not the only ones. Thanks for the kind words, RuPaul, you are fierce!!!!!!!!

‘Bolt-Ons’---Unacceptable Term!!!!

Earlier this afternoon there was an article that made graphic reference to Heidi’s chest area—calling it “Bolt-Ons.” This is filth and probably libel, too. I mean I realize the internet is a free of censorship zone and I agree in principle, but can’t we just for once operate on a little bit of a higher plane? Where dignity and restraint can reign instead of junior high school level “slang terms?” Heidi made a choice and she is happy with it. But no, OTHER people can’t be happy—they can never be happy unless they are slandering something—if someone looks good they’ve got to say “you don’t look good.” Anything for controversy. These are the same sort of people who call Heather Mills “Hopalong.” It is disgusting and once again, actionable behavior if we take the time to analyze it on a word by word basis. Would you call Sammy Davis Jr. “Glass Head” or “Cyclops?”