Heidi texts note of encouragement to William Hung!!!

Singer/Dancer William Hung is one of the most recognized entertainers in show business today. His sunny disposition and “never-say-quit” demeanor in the face of unspeakable tragedy on American Idol was something people from all walks of life drew strength from. His popularity is so pervasive, he is sometimes referred to as the “World’s Mascot.” What most people don’t know is that William has struggled his whole life-- fighting and WINNING battles against epilepsy, weight control, corns, hammertoes, and acute dipsomania to emerge a better person who is beloved by all. Heidi is also beloved by all, so she knows how demanding the life of a celebrity can be. Therefore she has taken time out of her busy schedule to PERSONALLY text a note of encouragement and solace to William. It’s nobody’s business what actual words were used, but we can all rest assured Heidi’s missive was heartfelt, sincere and flowing with prose every bit as beautiful and brilliant as her golden locks. William Hung, you have been touched by an angel!!!

Heidi elected Emergency Spice Girl!!!!

The Spice Girls reunion tour of 2007-2008 was by far the highest-grossing concert on record. Adults young and old and kids of every size and age packed into the stadiums like sardines for the sole purpose of seeing five talented ladies “strut their stuff.” UNFORTUNATELY, there is always a bad apple in the bunch and this time around Ms. Emma Bunton a.k.a. “Baby Spice” is the wormy, rotten fruit in question. She RUINED it for everyone because she couldn’t get along with the other girls. Her behavior was reprehensible--there is even a rumor that she piddled into a plate of Scary Spice’s food when Scary Spice turned away to take a phone call. That is disgusting and racist!! Because of her refusal to continue on with the tour it had to be cancelled. The other girls were heartbroken and they are dying to reschedule the tour dates. Emma Bunton basically CHEATED millions of fans out of their rights. But what can they do??? Well, here comes Heidi!!! She is going to be the newest Spice Girl and her nickname of course is going to be Glamour Girl Spice. In England they spell Glamour differently!! Apparently the Spice Girls were downloading Heidi’s song like crazy when it first came out and, well, when the spot opened up for an “Emergency” Spice Girl, her name immediately vaulted to the top of the list. ALL the food on this tour will be paid for by the record company. And drinks, too!!! All Heidi has to do is show up and sing her heart out. And you know that’s exactly what she’s going to do!!!! There isn’t a stadium built on Earth that can hold all her fans!!!

Warren Buffet finds Heidi “inspirational”

Warren Buffet is well-known as the world’s richest man, but more importantly he is the richest man in America. You would think a man his age, (he’s in his seventies) would be out of touch with popular culture but Warren is smarter than you think. His favorite star is Heidi Montag!!! He watches TV like anyone else and he has long held a soft spot in his heart for America’s favorite blond. It just makes good business sense!!! He even told attendees at the annual Berkshire Hathaway shareholders meeting that he found Heidi’s presence on national TV “inspirational.” That is great news and Heidi thinks he is a VERY sweet old man. A grandpa figure for her!!!! But when you look closer, Forbes magazine has calculated that Warren Buffet is so rich he could personally give every person in America, even the illegal aliens, $5,000 dollars and still have money left over. Doesn’t it make you wonder WHY HE DOESN’T DO THIS? There is no need to amass that kind of money. Are you a “good man” or some greedy swine??? I mean, there are people starving, and even the people who aren’t could sure use that money to help them pay off some bills. Why do you need a literal mountain of money to sit on???? Help the "little guy" out. Heidi does!!! If she inspires you so much, put words into action. Let no good DEED remain unturned!!!!

Heidi line of cell phones---2009 launch!!

Everybody knows about Vertu cell phones. They are the undisputed “best in the business.” But did you know that this esteemed brand will soon be #2 on the block?? Yes, it is a fact. Word from the patent attorney and legal circles is that business development contracts have been signed between Heidi and the Pantech Cellular Device Manufacturing Company to design and build a new line of exclusive, ultra-premium mobile devices. These aren’t going to be just a phone, people. It will have “on the go” voice mail playback, random internet access, blue tooth wire less technology, remote ignition for any make of import automobile and more.

What makes this one of the most unique deals in the biz is that Heidi is not going to just “put her name on it” she is going to be involved in the design and the research and development of the phone’s “innards.” She wants to make sure her fans are getting the best phone!!! She will be testing the products of the best companies currently extant and then SHE will pick the speaker that sounds best, the keypad that is the best to touch and the longest-lasting battery, etc. Engineers will be there to consult with but Heidi will have the final say. No other celebrity has ever approached a new product launch from this “hands on” angle. Is it no wonder initial orders of this phone are already sold out. And with a price far north of the Vertu, too. But it will be worth it!!!!

‘Bolt-Ons’---Unacceptable Term!!!!

Earlier this afternoon there was an article that made graphic reference to Heidi’s chest area—calling it “Bolt-Ons.” This is filth and probably libel, too. I mean I realize the internet is a free of censorship zone and I agree in principle, but can’t we just for once operate on a little bit of a higher plane? Where dignity and restraint can reign instead of junior high school level “slang terms?” Heidi made a choice and she is happy with it. But no, OTHER people can’t be happy—they can never be happy unless they are slandering something—if someone looks good they’ve got to say “you don’t look good.” Anything for controversy. These are the same sort of people who call Heather Mills “Hopalong.” It is disgusting and once again, actionable behavior if we take the time to analyze it on a word by word basis. Would you call Sammy Davis Jr. “Glass Head” or “Cyclops?”