Heidi to host Five Day “SAVE HD-DVD” telethon!!!

This incredible news will soon be a reality August 5-10, 2008 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway as Heidi Montag has been contracted to be the host for a five day music and entertainment spectacular to raise money from the good people of America to help save the HD-DVD format of DVD consumer movie disc-playing electronic devices. Millions of people, including Heidi, have purchased these machines in GOOD FAITH and now the shady “powers that be” have deemed these machines “worthless” even though they are in perfect working order. It’s like state-sanctioned murder!!!! Some of the acts that have agreed to help by performing at this extravaganza are Jason Schwartzman’s rock ‘n’ roll music band Phantom Planet, comedian Don Rickles, popular magician act CRiSS ANgel MINDFREAK, cherished wild animal trainers Siegfried and Roy, noted boxing legend Gerry Cooney, Personal “Chef to the Stars” Bobby Flay, the architect Donald Trump, “Lost” screenwriter Damon Lindelhof and European thrush Grande Dauphine Lady Celine Dion. This program will run for five days straight on the Univision television network and will indeed be the first program in that station’s history to be broadcast entirely in English. Heidi is giving nearly a week of her life for this historic event and we should all help her out BY TRASHING any Blu-Ray machines our family or friends may own. It’s only right!!!!!

Q Ratings: Latest numbers show Heidi still miles above Miley!!

It’s 15 months running now that Heidi has scored higher than Miley Cyrus on the all-important Q-score celebrity rating scale. Even with this so-called “teen sensation’s” latest preposterous publicity stunt of shameful nude photos in a national magazine, she still doesn’t come close to Heidi’s numbers!!! I shudder to think what “Hannah Montana” will try next. It’s not going to work!! What’s even better is that Heidi’s fans are more mature, wealthier and definitely more fashion forward in today’s day and age. This is what marketers want and what they are looking for.

Could this be why Heidi was recently invited to Washington to privately dine with President George Bush and his First Wife Laura while Miley was nowhere to be seen? Let’s see, what sounds more appealing, spending Saturday night at the White House with the President of a country and a whole slew of A-list celebrities or spending it sitting in some warehouse taking off your clothes for a TOTAL STRANGER with a camera??? We are SORRY, Disney girl, but you are simply not ready to play with the grown-ups yet…