John Mark Karr begs Heidi to star in his movie!!!!

It has now been confirmed by Heidi’s handler’s that her film industry agents have been contacted by the agents of John Mark Karr, the former schoolteacher who rose to dizzying heights of notoriety in the JonBenet Ramsey missing persons case some years back. Mr. Karr has been quietly living in Fulton County, Georgia as of late and he has been using his time wisely. He has recently completed a screenplay entitled Sorority Row Angel that tells the story of a beautiful and innocent blonde girl’s freshman year of college. And John Mark Karr himself has hand-picked Heidi to play the lead role!!! This project is being pitched as an 80’s style “hi-jinks” type movie complete with panty raids, hidden cameras in the sorority house showers, lesbian initiation rites and a HUGE food fight that takes place at a co-ed beach volleyball tournament. It is going to be filmed on location at a real college--the University of Colorado in Boulder. What is great about this is that Heidi grew up in Colorado so she will have no trouble playing this part. She is an A-list star and this movie will make millions!!! So Heidi of course should be paid MILLIONS to act in it. What part of that don’t you understand?????

Heidi to Clooney: “Leatherheads” No Good!!!

Reports are surfacing of a brief tete-a-tete that took place over the weekend at one of the world’s most popular bars in LA—which shall remain unnamed here. (HMIB is NOT a free advertising service!) Heidi and Hollywood tastemaker George Clooney happened to be in the VIP room at the same time, so of course they engaged in some light conversation. Apparently Heidi spoke her mind to George about his latest (flop) movie and she gave him her honest, unvarnished opinion. And George loved it!!! He has always been one of Tinseltown’s “coolest customers” and he has done so much for the poor people of Africa that we can all learn a lesson from his actions. He can see that the movie is not doing well—the American people have rejected it!!! But the “hows and whys” of its failure are something it takes another big star to spell out. And Heidi did just that!!!! She has had a great run with her TV show, song, and clothing line, so she knows of what she speaks!! And she is a rabid football fan as well (In fact she is very close friends with the Bowlen family who own the Denver Broncos) and George’s movie just did not deliver the goods when it comes to an accurate portrayal of America’s Pastime. It’s not a crime--he’s had so many great movies that people are still going to love him and watch his every move. All in all, though, Heidi was very diplomatic, but the truth had to be told. You can bet his next movie’s going to be better!!!

Starring role for Heidi in “Hans and Franz” reunion movie??

Major news from the major studios today. One of the biggest Hollywood studios extant will be releasing a blockbuster movie in the summer of 2009 featuring the long-awaited reunion and big screen reappearance of Austrian body-building gods “Hans and Franz.” This movie will be released in all 50 states nationwide. The title is pending. Unsurprisingly, Heidi has been tapped for the role of romantic lead/glamour girl in this blockbuster cinematic vehicle. Moles from the screenwriter’s guild are saying that this movie is going to be positioned as a “dark comedy” in which Hans and Franz actually KILL someone because he has harassed Heidi’s character and made her life miserable. Apparently, these guys actually rip this dude apart with their bare hands and the CGI effects in play during this scene are supposed to be tremendous. Sounds gruesome, but the guy deserves it!!!! You do NOT go around harassing ANY woman if she tells you to leave her alone. Heidi is not asking for special treatment, as will be revealed for all to see on the big screen, she told the guy several times to just leave her be but to no avail. She can’t control what Hans and Franz does??!! Like I said, the guy deserved it. There is not a court in the land that would convict and/or disagree.

Heidi WILL NOT do a Hills movie. That decision is her right to choose!!!

I know a lot of “Hills” fans are piling into Heidi this week about her not wanting to bring the show up onto the big screen, but lest we forget, it is her choice—not the producers or manager’s choice about this movie.

It’s no secret that Denzel Washington (a multiple Oscar winner AND nominee) has expressed some very earnest interest in putting Heidi in one of his next movie vehicles. So why on earth would she do a blown-up TV show in the movie theatre? It just doesn’t make sense in any iota of thinking. A Hills movie would have to be Rated G. There is simply more money to be made in an R-rated movie starring a multiple Golden Globe and Oscar winner. Denzel fits that bill. And he wants Heidi to work with him!!! He’s said so more than once.

So back off!!! Once this Denzel movie is wrapped, then and maybe then will Heidi entertain the Hills movie vehicle. Patience will be justly rewarded.